I Don't Do Surprises...

You know,I just hate hate hate suprises! I hate being caught off gurad,unprepared. I like having a plan,being in control. It's just me. So,you can imagine how I must have been feeling a few weeks ago,when at a fabulous party I met this wonderful specimen of a Homo Sapien male who,from the aesthetics,was ticking all the right boxes. It went a lil like this...

Sitting on a couch with a bunch of friends,and he is sitting across from me. Occassionally our eyes would meet and in my 'I think I'm in love' mode,gave off a giddy giggle. Like what am I? 12...*sigh*

Anyway,I take the time to look him up and down to make sure there's nothing unusual that might put me off. Shoes. Check. Hands. Check (I have an obsession with male hands,there's something about them being large and strong looking that's oh so sexy) Hair. Hmm,wearing a hat,so can't really tell,but I'm guessing can't be that bad. Check. Sense of Style. Check ( I appreciate men who take pride in their appearance. Women take time out to look good,and it's only fair that the other half go the extra mile aswell). Sense of humour. Sort of. He hardly speaks,which intrigues me even more,I like a man with a bit of mystery,but it's his silky smooth barritone voice with the perfect english accent that has me hooked. Mmmm...I think.I'm.in.love

He gets up to grab a drink at the bar,and I notice he is about 6''2. Could this get any better? I get up,armed full of confidence and ready to make a move,when i notice him take off his hat. And right there in front of me,staring me straight in the face is a massive bald patch. My heart drops. How could a man who appears perfect lose it all so quickly? And the thing is,I don't really have a problem with men lacking in the hair department,but he had longer bits hanging with little black specks randomly covering the hairless patch and it just looked wrong. He would have looked sexxxy if he just shaved his head bald.

He notices me from behind him,and I smile nervously,and trying not to act like I haven't just seen a head desperatley crying out for Advanced Hair Studios! I spend the rest of the night talking to my girlfriends about this guy who I thought was a 10,turn into a 1.5(on a good day). It then had me thinking,what are some major deal breakers for women?

I have girlfriends who won't date men who don't earn in the 6-figures. They.just.won't.budge. I have a girlfriend who broke up with what seemed like the perfect guy in theory,all because of the size of his,ahem,equipment. I know a few sister friends who only have love for the brothers. I always thought guys where the picky ones until I asked my girlfriends,and they have lists. I have heard things like ' He can't have kids' to be 'willing to accept that I am a WORKING woman'. One of my BFF's has a thing for men who don't drive. She likes being chauffuered around...and I always say,well Miss Daisy,what happens if he does drive but beats the shit out of you? Would it then matter that he had a car? I couldn't halp but wonder if all these man-cpectations are a little over the top.

What happened to just finding a law-abiding,resectful and hardworking human being? I blame celebrity culture for our greed. We want everything,but is it fair to want qualities in your significant partner that you're not willing to adapt to yourself? I've never been one for aesthetics...I spent my late teens and early twenties dating the hottest guys,which just showed me how vain looks can be. I'm not attracted to money or guys with money,I find them rather quite arrogant and chauvinistic. Would I not date someone of they had a child? I'm not that vain,but I did have an ex who fathered a child whilst we were together and I had no idea that he was cheating until after we broke up.

I have issues dating guys below 27. It's nothing personal,just a preference. I also don't date men who can't and don't read. It's just sexxxy when a man can read...and spell. I have been turned off so much in the past by men who can't bloody spell. Or use that stupid teenage text language. 'Hey Bebi,wat u doin? wanna hangout sumtym l8r? x' So many things wrong with that I won't even begin to explain...But needless to say,definite deal breaker!

So,lovely ladies,what are some of your deal breakers?


The more you know...