Abs-F*cken-Lutely!!

Dear friends,

As I type this blog,it's past 3am and I'm dying of hunger. Why you may ask?
Because I'm in a rut. An exercise rut! I cannot be fucked getting up early in the
freezing Melbourne cold to walk to the gym,that's literally 5 minute walk from my house.
I just can't! I've tried everything,from sleeping with my gym clothes on,to having 5 alarms go
off at the same time,to sticking Halle Berry's POST-Baby body on my fridge to make me feel
guilty about having a body that resembles a 60 year olds. Okay,so it's not that bad,
but let's just say,you couldnt pay me enough to take my kit off...

So,why do I need to be exercising? Well,I was doing so well,3 times a week for an hour,
body as banging,them I got sad,and when I get sad,child I eat! Everything and anything and
I gained 5 pounds...and I only had 5 more to go,so now I have to shed 10 pounds! Grrr...

I'm producing a TV show that will go on-air in a month and we film in 3 weeks. I was interviewing Wil Anderson last Friday (Yes,THE Wil Anderson,Gruen...such a hottie),
and I was looking abck at the photos and I thought I looked like a mini rhinosaurus...
My friends,as sweet as they are,told me it's all in my head,and it probably is,but my BMI is 1
value off normal,I'm 26...I'm supposed to be a 25,am I being paranoid??

So,decided,today is the day I start anew and see how long I'll last...No carbs for 3 weeks...
I'll be one cranky person! Lol...but I am soo looking forward to Janet Jackson like abs...
So,so hot! Okay,excited,now just need to get the dust off those tennis shoes and find my gym card,before I have another excuse not to go! And if you're like me,going through an exercise rut,
let me know...We can share our pain together!




The more you know...

Say Whaaaaaaa??!!!

I have this obsession. With words. OCD-like. I like finding interesting words/phrases in the English vocab and I laugh at the word and how stupid it sounds.Kinda like when you get stoned and stare at a blank wall and laugh at it,when there's really nothing you're looking at (not that'd I'd know,I'm just saying...)

So,I decided to Google obsessions/psycho-disorders to see if there's a definition for my 'condition'(I just rhymed.Yay!), and this whole list of obsessions I had no idea existed came up.

I'll share a few.

1) Dipsomania - Abnormal craving for alcohol ( And then there's Methomania - Morbid craving for alcohol...Umm...)

2)Necromania - Sexual obsession with dead bodies

3)Peotillomania - Abnormal compulsion for pulling on the penis (hmm...)

4)Polkamania - Obsession with polka dancing..( I wonder what the obbsession for polka dots is?)

And the list goes on...So,I find myself right at the bottom. Verbomania. Obsession with words.

Hmm...I feel like I should be attending Verbomaniacs Anyonymous classes. 'Hi,my name is Santilla, and I'm a Verbomaniac'...

I like my obsession. It's better than being born a number three (Peotillomaniac),and go around pulling people's Captain Winkie's?

By the way,have you ever noticed how people always give you a weird side look when you mention the word Penis or Vagina out loud? Especially over dinner. Say them both together and you get the 'OMG...You should call it a pee-pee' face or associate it with something cute and cuddly? Umm,sorry to burst your bubble,but aint nothing cute and cuddly about that. It's the sensitivity that people have to the Medical reference of organs that CREATED them that always amazes me. It's like you've morphed into one of those unfunny and insensitive people that crack 15 jokes that aren't funny or tell a Jewish mate of yours 'Hey,you know what's funny? The Holocaust!' The Oh-No-You-Di-int look that the person you've offended greets you with.

I mean seriously. People have mortified looks on their faces acting like they don't even know what you're talking about when they spent the last 5 hours before seeing you in the company of one!

I.refuse.to.say Vaj-jay-jay*! (Sorry Oprah.)

*I do however say 'tinkle' when I need to urinate. The latter is just an ugly word,and the former sounds like it's fairy glitter dust that you're releasing...hmm...TMI?!

I digress.

So,what is my solution to this wittle problem?! Sharing it with you of course! I'll regularly post words I find amusing/interesting and what they mean and encourage you to use them (It'll make you seem smart around your dumb friends,and stupid around your smart friends...it's a win-win!).

We begin with...*Drum roll please...*

FLIBBERTIGIBBET ˌfli-bər-tē-ˈji-bət

1) A flighty,frivolous or excessivley talkative person

2) Gossip

3)A silly,scatterbrained ,or garrous person

Have fun with the word,I'm sure everyone knows a flibbertigibbet. If you don't,then it's probably you! Let me know what your favourite words in English,or another language are,or if you have a weird obsession as well.

The more you know...