I Heart Soul

New Beginnings...

2011-06-09T07:50:00.000+10:00

So, the last couple of months have been rather interesting in so many ways and so much to be grateful for. Within the period of growth and change, I also noticed a few things I wasn't particularly happy with, and want to change. To live a life of my own definition. I've been on this journey for years, but not so consistently.

Hence why I have returned to blogging about it here. I'm all about accountability and I want to stay off the falling off path and fully commit to this life that I'm creating. Not 25 %, 50%, 80%, but full 100.

There's a quote I love and have had for years by Aristotle which I try for the most part to live by and goes something like this:

" We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

So, what exactly am I saying? I want to commit to being of this world, physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally. Understanding the world around me and looking into myself to get a better understanding.
Let's see how we go then, aye?

The more you know...

I Don't Do Surprises...

2009-07-28T08:02:00.004+10:00

You know,I just hate hate hate suprises! I hate being caught off gurad,unprepared. I like having a plan,being in control. It's just me. So,you can imagine how I must have been feeling a few weeks ago,when at a fabulous party I met this wonderful specimen of a Homo Sapien male who,from the aesthetics,was ticking all the right boxes. It went a lil like this...

Sitting on a couch with a bunch of friends,and he is sitting across from me. Occassionally our eyes would meet and in my 'I think I'm in love' mode,gave off a giddy giggle. Like what am I? 12...*sigh*

Anyway,I take the time to look him up and down to make sure there's nothing unusual that might put me off. Shoes. Check. Hands. Check (I have an obsession with male hands,there's something about them being large and strong looking that's oh so sexy) Hair. Hmm,wearing a hat,so can't really tell,but I'm guessing can't be that bad. Check. Sense of Style. Check ( I appreciate men who take pride in their appearance. Women take time out to look good,and it's only fair that the other half go the extra mile aswell). Sense of humour. Sort of. He hardly speaks,which intrigues me even more,I like a man with a bit of mystery,but it's his silky smooth barritone voice with the perfect english accent that has me hooked. Mmmm...I think.I'm.in.love

He gets up to grab a drink at the bar,and I notice he is about 6''2. Could this get any better? I get up,armed full of confidence and ready to make a move,when i notice him take off his hat. And right there in front of me,staring me straight in the face is a massive bald patch. My heart drops. How could a man who appears perfect lose it all so quickly? And the thing is,I don't really have a problem with men lacking in the hair department,but he had longer bits hanging with little black specks randomly covering the hairless patch and it just looked wrong. He would have looked sexxxy if he just shaved his head bald.

He notices me from behind him,and I smile nervously,and trying not to act like I haven't just seen a head desperatley crying out for Advanced Hair Studios! I spend the rest of the night talking to my girlfriends about this guy who I thought was a 10,turn into a 1.5(on a good day). It then had me thinking,what are some major deal breakers for women?

I have girlfriends who won't date men who don't earn in the 6-figures. They.just.won't.budge. I have a girlfriend who broke up with what seemed like the perfect guy in theory,all because of the size of his,ahem,equipment. I know a few sister friends who only have love for the brothers. I always thought guys where the picky ones until I asked my girlfriends,and they have lists. I have heard things like ' He can't have kids' to be 'willing to accept that I am a WORKING woman'. One of my BFF's has a thing for men who don't drive. She likes being chauffuered around...and I always say,well Miss Daisy,what happens if he does drive but beats the shit out of you? Would it then matter that he had a car? I couldn't halp but wonder if all these man-cpectations are a little over the top.

What happened to just finding a law-abiding,resectful and hardworking human being? I blame celebrity culture for our greed. We want everything,but is it fair to want qualities in your significant partner that you're not willing to adapt to yourself? I've never been one for aesthetics...I spent my late teens and early twenties dating the hottest guys,which just showed me how vain looks can be. I'm not attracted to money or guys with money,I find them rather quite arrogant and chauvinistic. Would I not date someone of they had a child? I'm not that vain,but I did have an ex who fathered a child whilst we were together and I had no idea that he was cheating until after we broke up.

I have issues dating guys below 27. It's nothing personal,just a preference. I also don't date men who can't and don't read. It's just sexxxy when a man can read...and spell. I have been turned off so much in the past by men who can't bloody spell. Or use that stupid teenage text language. 'Hey Bebi,wat u doin? wanna hangout sumtym l8r? x' So many things wrong with that I won't even begin to explain...But needless to say,definite deal breaker!

So,lovely ladies,what are some of your deal breakers?

The more you know...

Abs-F*cken-Lutely!!

2009-04-30T03:21:00.002+10:00

Dear friends,

As I type this blog,it's past 3am and I'm dying of hunger. Why you may ask?
Because I'm in a rut. An exercise rut! I cannot be fucked getting up early in the
freezing Melbourne cold to walk to the gym,that's literally 5 minute walk from my house.
I just can't! I've tried everything,from sleeping with my gym clothes on,to having 5 alarms go
off at the same time,to sticking Halle Berry's POST-Baby body on my fridge to make me feel
guilty about having a body that resembles a 60 year olds. Okay,so it's not that bad,
but let's just say,you couldnt pay me enough to take my kit off...

So,why do I need to be exercising? Well,I was doing so well,3 times a week for an hour,
body as banging,them I got sad,and when I get sad,child I eat! Everything and anything and
I gained 5 pounds...and I only had 5 more to go,so now I have to shed 10 pounds! Grrr...

I'm producing a TV show that will go on-air in a month and we film in 3 weeks. I was interviewing Wil Anderson last Friday (Yes,THE Wil Anderson,Gruen...such a hottie),
and I was looking abck at the photos and I thought I looked like a mini rhinosaurus...
My friends,as sweet as they are,told me it's all in my head,and it probably is,but my BMI is 1
value off normal,I'm 26...I'm supposed to be a 25,am I being paranoid??

So,decided,today is the day I start anew and see how long I'll last...No carbs for 3 weeks...
I'll be one cranky person! Lol...but I am soo looking forward to Janet Jackson like abs...
So,so hot! Okay,excited,now just need to get the dust off those tennis shoes and find my gym card,before I have another excuse not to go! And if you're like me,going through an exercise rut,
let me know...We can share our pain together!

The more you know...

Say Whaaaaaaa??!!!

2009-04-27T01:28:00.004+10:00

I have this obsession. With words. OCD-like. I like finding interesting words/phrases in the English vocab and I laugh at the word and how stupid it sounds.Kinda like when you get stoned and stare at a blank wall and laugh at it,when there's really nothing you're looking at (not that'd I'd know,I'm just saying...)

So,I decided to Google obsessions/psycho-disorders to see if there's a definition for my 'condition'(I just rhymed.Yay!), and this whole list of obsessions I had no idea existed came up.

I'll share a few.

1) Dipsomania - Abnormal craving for alcohol ( And then there's Methomania - Morbid craving for alcohol...Umm...)

2)Necromania - Sexual obsession with dead bodies

3)Peotillomania - Abnormal compulsion for pulling on the penis (hmm...)

4)Polkamania - Obsession with polka dancing..( I wonder what the obbsession for polka dots is?)

And the list goes on...So,I find myself right at the bottom. Verbomania. Obsession with words.

Hmm...I feel like I should be attending Verbomaniacs Anyonymous classes. 'Hi,my name is Santilla, and I'm a Verbomaniac'...

I like my obsession. It's better than being born a number three (Peotillomaniac),and go around pulling people's Captain Winkie's?

By the way,have you ever noticed how people always give you a weird side look when you mention the word Penis or Vagina out loud? Especially over dinner. Say them both together and you get the 'OMG...You should call it a pee-pee' face or associate it with something cute and cuddly? Umm,sorry to burst your bubble,but aint nothing cute and cuddly about that. It's the sensitivity that people have to the Medical reference of organs that CREATED them that always amazes me. It's like you've morphed into one of those unfunny and insensitive people that crack 15 jokes that aren't funny or tell a Jewish mate of yours 'Hey,you know what's funny? The Holocaust!' The Oh-No-You-Di-int look that the person you've offended greets you with.

I mean seriously. People have mortified looks on their faces acting like they don't even know what you're talking about when they spent the last 5 hours before seeing you in the company of one!

I.refuse.to.say Vaj-jay-jay*! (Sorry Oprah.)

*I do however say 'tinkle' when I need to urinate. The latter is just an ugly word,and the former sounds like it's fairy glitter dust that you're releasing...hmm...TMI?!

I digress.

So,what is my solution to this wittle problem?! Sharing it with you of course! I'll regularly post words I find amusing/interesting and what they mean and encourage you to use them (It'll make you seem smart around your dumb friends,and stupid around your smart friends...it's a win-win!).

We begin with...*Drum roll please...*

FLIBBERTIGIBBET ˌfli-bər-tē-ˈji-bət

1) A flighty,frivolous or excessivley talkative person

2) Gossip

3)A silly,scatterbrained ,or garrous person

Have fun with the word,I'm sure everyone knows a flibbertigibbet. If you don't,then it's probably you! Let me know what your favourite words in English,or another language are,or if you have a weird obsession as well.

The more you know...

Rules of (Dis)Engagement

2009-03-10T15:09:00.013+11:00

Hello Earthlings...
Well, I just recently got back into the 'dating' scene and having spent the last 3 years making a whole tonne of 'don'ts'...it's about darn time that I learnt from them. So, what have I learnt you may ask? Not everyone loves John Denver...Or Kenny G...! What you may consider cool and quirky just comes plain off weird and uninteresting and apparently, men like interesting! Be Cool. Drink Milk.

Enough of the digressing, so I have come to the cold conclusion, that, as much as I don't like to believe it, rules exist in dating and if you don't adhere to them, you will get burnt. So, why all these games you may ask? Well, imagine the animal kingdom for example...before the Lion captures his mate, a long period of 'chasing' ensues, before the Lioness finally gives in to the strongest Lion. And it's usually the Lion vying for her attention (then again, lionesses mate with more than one male at a time)...

So, what can we learn from the animal kingdom apart from the fact that Lions copulate twenty to forty times a day for several days without eating?!

Well, I thought you'd never ask my friends...so without further ado...I present my list of Dating Do's and Don’ts for the lay-deez courtesy of this here link, but modified slightly, that will hopefully help you make wiser choices and not repeat past mistakes, it’s all in good fun. Feminists...you have been warned!

1. Look good. Now I'm not saying be high maintenance, but take pride in how you look and dress. Ladies, we all know how good we feel when we look good. Confidence is always sexy and besides, no one wants to date Miss Dunkin Donuts 2009 (ouch!). Look presentable and stay healthy, and you'll turn heads. First impressions are lasting and men decide if they're interested, not by the fact that you can recite all Shakespearean novels, or do a standing split, whilst balancing a book on your head half drunk (which mind you, is a very good trick if you can master it, not that I would know…), but they react, initially, by what they see...Capiche?

Capiche.

2. Keep the dates/encounters brief. Keep him guessing and coming back for more. Revealing everything about yourself makes you uninteresting and frankly no one wants to date boring... It’s like finding out that Harry Potter doesn’t die after all in the last book, before having read past the first book!! Don’t give away too much…

3. Keep him waiting. You shouldn't have to pull out your own chair. And he can have a really good excuse, but it's rude. A lady must never be left waiting.

4. I like this one. Ensure you receive flowers. If he doesn't know a Florist...pull a Johnnie Walker, and keep walking!

Zing!

5. Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying. No matter how strong the urge is to pick up the phone EVERY TIME he calls, do.not.do.it!!…Avoid volleying random text messages and answer only when necessary!

6. If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday. I have gotten into PLENTY of discussions with my girlfriends about this, and truth is, when you're too available or desperate, a man loses interest and you turn into a doormat. He should be chasing you ladies! *You can give in every once in a while though…playing TOO hard to get can backfire as well. Key phrase, ONCE IN A WHILE*

7. You're doing it, you’re doing it, you’re doing it…NOT! Never EVER sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything. I repeat, do not sleep with him early on in the game. No matter how much the urge, don’t rationalise it…Trust me, it will end badly!

Self explanatory people...the thing is, with women, we get emotional the minute sex gets thrown in...And you would rather someone got to know you for you, not coz he wants to get the prize.
If he breaks-up with you because you won’t sleep with him early on, then you know that he was in it for the wrong reasons, and good riddance! Besides, when you do it early on, you hardly know the person and you could end up like this woman.

Can I get a witness?

Amen.

*** PSA: STD's Kill...Use a condom***

8. Keep him waiting. Don't show up early. From the wise words of Bobby Brown,’ it’s my prerogative'...Nuff Said.

9. If the guy in the corner is a Lenny Kravitz look-alike (I have a ‘thing’ for Mr. Kravitz…) go and get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.

This one is kind of a contradiction to all the other rules...but it makes sense a lot of the time. You don't have to wait for the guy to make the moves first. Some women exude a certain 'aura' about them that intimidates or makes men shy away from them. It’s simple, if you like him, go say 'hello'...

10. This is one of mine. Never get his number. Let him get your digits. Even when he tries to give you his number, don’t take it. This ensures he calls you and you don't call him on a drunken night out with the girls, professing your undying love, and how your wedding to him will be presided by the Dalai Lama and the names of all 16 of your kids, including the 2 you plan on adopting from the mountains of Mongolia before you retreat to Antarctica to help save the seals whilst living with the Eskimos for 2 years... Or maybe that's just me...

*sigh*

So kids, what have we learnt from all this? Let me know and share some of your tips and 'rules' about the dating game. I am off to use some of them in the real world and also hide the stash of John Denver Cd's .March is the month of all things lovey dovey, and kiss kiss (Shout to Chris Brown)..

Stays posted and remember,the more you know...

-Santi

Oscar

2009-02-23T20:30:00.002+11:00

I don't know about you,but I happen to be a huge fan of the Oscar's and have never missed a show since I can remember. From childhood dreams of walking the red carpet with my leading man to wearing the most beautiful gown on the planet and having hundreds of cheering fans applaud my nomination and then the moment...the speech!

I live for public speaking,nothing about it freaks me out. I would imagine first witnessing my category being announced and smilingly graciously as my fellow nominees are mentioned,then the tearing of the envelope...'And the Oscar for Outstanding Performance by and actress in a Lead Role goes to....". Silence. My name has just been announced and as I try and take it all in,overwhelmed by emotion and still trying to pull it all off with the elegance only Grace Kelly would,I am ushered to the podium where I deliver a speech that will forever be embedded in the minds of those that witnessed such an historic moment...

But that was just a childhood dream. Not to say it wouldn't be,borrowing from pop culture,cool...but my dreams now go beyond that. I however still dream of the leading man,the gown,the speech and the admiration..but in a different arena. I am no actress,nor do I aim for such. But I still love how every time I watch the Academy Awards,the same zeal that I felt as I child comes rushing back as if it's all new.

The press on the other hand always have an opinion about the show. Every year it gets worse and as much as the men and women who accept the coveted gold-plated man,I can't help but ask myself,'I haven't seen any of the nominated movies'.

It seems to me that movies these days are all about big-budgets,messages to deliver,biopics,period pieces and anything outside these genres hardly stand a chance. I on the other hand view film as a canvas that allows me to escape and imagine myself in the characters taking over the screen.

This is mostly of the romantic comedy kind,and such movies a very rarely nominated for the actors talents. I find it quite unfortunate really,because such movies are the reason why I pay $14 dollars on tight-arse Tuesday. I don't line up for films like 'The Reader','The Wrestler','The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' or 'Changeling'. As remarkable and Oscar worthy as the performances may have been,I like to feel good after a film,not asking more questions. That's the point of going in the first place to escape the sadness of the world.

So,fellow readers of thy humble blog,what say you?

The more you know...

Recession,Depression....

2009-02-12T05:09:00.005+11:00

Unless you've been hiding under a rock,living on Mars,or both (though I still find it hard to believe),you have no doubt heard about the meltdown of global economies. Now if you,like me,watched the news wondering how this will affect the average man,then read on.

recession is a word that never existed in my vocab until all this talk about it. I hate talking about money,budgeting,or saving. Quite frankly,it depresses me. And I've never been good at math,so it's a subject I've all together purposefully ignored,until I read an article recently about the economy getting so bad that people can not even afford to get a divorce. Dang!

It's that bad y'all.

So what does it mean for people who live off paycheck to paycheck,spend thousands on trends and fads and have never saved a penny in their life? Well,quite simply,you're screwed.

Ok,It's not that bad...yet. Unless you don't have a job,then we can start saving every little cent/penny/kroner/rand/lira. I am no financial expert. I have a lifestyle invested on spending,spending and more spending. I have items of clothing stacked in my wardrobe I have purchased but never worn. Shoes that I spent hundreds on and never worn more than once,CD's,Vinyl records and hundreds of accessories,some of which I don't remember buying.

Anyway,all of this depressing money talk had me thinking as to when we as a society became more consumer driven and the big corporations determined our lifestyles. I just feel we don't have a sense of who we really are anymore. It's like we have to be told what to do,directly or indirectly,through advertising and marketing schemes.

This in turn has turned us into these debt-ridden and seemingly insecure beings who are clueless about quite alot. Now,I am guilty of being sucked into this trap,but its seems more and more people feel that to be accepted,you have to buy into this culture. Why do I need magazines,music videos and films telling me what I should wear?

I was reading a magazine article on how to land the man of your dreams! I mean its sooo ridiculous because magazines sell more copies when they include such bollocks and women are very quick to buy into this stuff. I mean heck,if that was the case,we'd all be in happy,healthy relationships. But the sad reality is it was probably written by a spinster who decided to make money off gullible innocent beings.

I have no time for such. Because of all of this,women have lost alot of self worth and identity and feel that to get the man of their 'dreams',they have to go out their way to be something they're not. I'm not one for playing games. Maybe that explains my single status,but I'd never compromise the person who I am,just to get a man. Take it or leave it. I refuse to sit by a bar and run my finger around a martini glance while subtlety staring at a man who I happen to be attracted to while biting at tooth picked olive in a sexually suggestive way. I refuse to.

I'm old school. If someone likes me or I like them,I'm upfront. I don't need a magazine,movies,or books to tell me how i should 'approach' them likes its some science. It's about as ridiculous as a Glamour magazine article that said get any man to propose by being a person who is 'different' from who you normally are. Case in point:

If you've been dating someone for a long time and you want them to propose,don't mention babies,marriage..it drives them away. Why would you want to deceive someone into marrying you? Hence why 1 in every 2 marriages end in divorce.

I mean it's gotten so out of hand and these big corporations know this that these days its rare to watch a movie without product placement being included. I happened to be watching a bootleg version of 'The Women' a few weeks ago and couldn't help but notice the amount of Dove products in the film.

it's great that Dove have the 'Real Beauty' campaign,but at the end of the day,they're out to make money off gullible people and it's just another marketing strategy to get consumers to buy their products. It's like the whole who-ha in magazine land of including 'average sized' women in their glossies,but the mag still contains at least 70% of the anorexic models.

Now,what's a girl to do? If all of this is being shoved in your face,you have no choice but to go with herd. Being different ain't as cool as it used to be. this is true. Anyone else who tells you so,is lying,to make you and themselves feel better about not being as skinny as the chick in the magazines,and internally are struggling with their own insecurities. Maybe I'm wrong,I doubt it though...because if I was,the world wouldn't be in the state its in.

What say you??

On that note,I can't help you with your finances,but go see your bank people,check out some useful websites,and educate yourself on the recession and the the impact it may have on you.

The more you know....

Santi

New Year...New Dawn.....

2009-02-05T06:29:00.000+11:00

Hey Y'all...

Okay,first of all apologies for not posting since last year. I was on holiday all summer long and just got back. It's so weird how towards the end of the year you lose all sense of motivation and drive and just want the year to end,and at the start of the year,everything is rejuvenated and goals and ambitions start leave the dusty back burner and attended to with the same zeal and determination...if only it lasted the whole 365 days! *sigh*...

it's like when you go to Church on a Sunday and you say to yourself,'I ain't never sinning again...Lord take me higher..' and you end up breaking one of the commandments less than 24 hours after the sermon...

Or when you watch a documentary about war ravaged countries and make a pledge to help the poor orphan kids....but never do...

Or when you decide to make this year the year you volunteer a year of your life to helping build schools in Chile...but find out all the good festivals are on when you're gone,hmm helping the poor or seeing Sigur Ros LIVE Dude!! Besides,I already bought the tickets...

Or you finally decide to move up out of your folks home and get a place of your own...But after spending your whole pay last Friday night on 3 exchange students from Norway and ended up spending your savings on a goat in Lithuania because it looked cute in the picture...

***Note: Shout out to those who ACTUALLY moved out this year***

Or when you read and hear about the recession and global financial meltdown and say 'today is the day Ima start saving'...and end up paying for a mini-holiday because it was on sale online...

...Or,and this one is for the ladies...while flipping through a Fashion magazine and happen to spot a picture of a fantastically airbrushed post-pregnancy Halle Berry in something resembling a bikini (By resembling,not quite a bikini as the average woman wouldn't be able to wear it because of a shortage of fabric) and can't believe a 40+ year old body looks better than your own 22 year old one..and decide after the last quarter of a tub of choc chip flavoured ice-cream,you'll start the diet of your life so help you God...but it lasts for 3 days??I swear I was doing well,but I was out for lunch and you know how it is,besides,I'll start anew tomorrow ;)..with me ladies?

Or is just me?...hmm

*sigh* Oh Well.

There's always next year.

Don't fret the small stuff.

Word.

Well,moving along,I have decided to enrich this blog-make it more exciting,mix serious stuff with a dose of humor,and a new element I discovered while holidaying showcasing the photo of the week. Anything random,interesting,thought provoking and entertaining.

So,what say you? With me...

Good.

Okay,so at the start of every year,instead of making (Re)solutions, I try and work out the lessons or solutions learned from my journey over the last 365 (or 366 in last year's case).

As soon as it's modified,I'll put up the list but feel free to comment.

**The more you know**

Sentence of the week: Aesthetically Belligerent.

Santi

Change.Progress.Hope

2008-11-06T13:43:00.001+11:00

So,by now you've watched the news,heard the news,read about it online and even random strangers talking about it...Barack Obama is the 44th American president-elect and the FIRST African-American president.

For alot of people,yesterday was a truly defining moment. Whether you are Black,White,Yellow,Pink...it didn't matter. That moment was a moment that instilled hope and brought back what Dr. King, John F. Kennedy and Papa Mandela had started years back...Has now been thrust upon generation Y...The generation that the world had given up on,did what seemed insurmountable...the voted,for change! He has shown,that if you have a dream and work hard for it,it can and will come true...

This election has shown that young people are not disinterested in politics,they maybe be disinterested in politics here. I have had conversations about politics and Obama with friends who know more about shoes than they do about history and policies. That's what was sooo good about seeing that victory yesterday...it wasn't just about americans,it was about the world as a whole embracing change...about being inspired,about people working hard for what they believed in...about a single vote counting,about democracy,about unity...all the ideals we are taught when we are young,that get distorted as we become older,finally mean something...because one man stood for change...and now the onus is on us,to be the change that we want to see in the world.

That's what Obama's victory has done for me...As much as I was thinking about great grandparents who were sold off as slaves,grandparents and parents who fought for my freedom,to me,this moment is for them...they could only dream of a better world for me and finally it has come...It reminded me of an old Nina Simone song...'I Wish I knew How It Would feel To be Free'...and it kinda goes like this....

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
say 'em loud,
say 'em clear
for the whole round world to hear.

I feel free in this moment...I feel like the shackles that have been holding me back from achieving everything I want out of life have been broken...I feel like we HAVE overcome...and in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King...Thank God Almighty,We're free at last....

Change Is Upon Us...

2008-11-02T04:59:00.000+11:00

- The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become -

W.E.B Du Bois

Now,unless you live under a rock somewhere on Mars,then I'm sure you have at one point heard the name Barack Obama. If not,I have no words for you. Actually,I do...but I will refrain...

Anyway,in less than twenty four hours (from my side of the world), America will go to polls to decide the 44th president and if you,like me have CNN and BBC radio on hand at all times,you know that the polls are swinging towards Obama's victory.

So,you may ask? But Santi,you ain't American...What does this election have to do with you? Well good people of cyberspace,I will try and explain my fascination and maybe offer insight as to why soo many people really want the change that Mr. Obama will (hopefully) bring.

I opened this post with a quote,something I never do,but i think I'll start to...anyway,I like this quote as it,to me encompasses all the possibility of change and reminds us not to fear change. I first heard about Barack Obama in 2004. I was watching CNN's coverage of the presidential elctions between George Bush and John Kerry. And at the democratic convention,a young,poised and articulate african-american senator delivered a speech that left me shaken to the core. The last time I felt goosebumps like that was when I heard the full delivery of Martin Luther King's 'I have a dream' speech in 8th grade...

So as I sat there in awe and admiration,I couldn't help but wonder,'who is this guy?'...and why aren't people talking about him? I googled him and started following his story. As fate would have it,the whole world would soon know who he was in just four short years...

From that speech,one thing stood out and it still is one of my favourite references,and it goes like this:

"Hope in the face of difficulty, hope in the face of uncertainty, the audacity of hope: In the end, that is God's greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation, a belief in things not seen, a belief that there are better days ahead. "

Now,again you may be asking,all well and good,but what does this have to do with you?

Well,I am African. I am proud of my heritage and without devulging too much personal information,I have lived and continue to live a life that I could only dream about. I am a strong believer in dreams and the audacity of hope...Life has taken me many places and I live each day hoping,believing and taking strides to make all that come true. They've been times in my life when what seemed impossible,became possible. There have been obstacles,and quiet a lot...some that I face to this day,and not once,have I EVER used my race as an issue,I would like to think that I am being judged by the content of my intellect,but I know this is naive...anyway,whether someone chooses to judge me at face value,is their issue,not mine.

You know,alot of people have asked me,'is it because he's black?'...and I could have a well rationalised answer,but the truth of the matter is yes,the deal clincher is just that. Sure he is a well educated and inspiring man. But this is someone I can relate to...he looks like me,comes from a similar background like me and fought against all odds...and I don't care what anybody else thinks or says,because unless you aren't a person of colour,then you just won't get it..and that's cool too.

Anyone who has dreams knows that there are days when you question if you are doing the right thing,making the right decisions and in constant need of re-affirmation that rarely comes,but your spirit is still not shaken to give up. I can't explain this phenomenom of belief and faith,but I know it is what gets me through. And motivates,re-enforces the passion and pushes the perserverance.

When Barack Obama accepted his nomination,I cried. Why? This is a man who comes from a background of trials and tribulations from his generation and his parents and grandparents tribulations. he had dreams,they had dreams...something i can relate to very easily and coming from Africa,like I said,it can be hard to believe that you can be 'something or someone'. So,Barack Obama realising his dream against all odds, speaks volumes to me..as a woman of colour from a third world country,where dreams remain just that...dreams.

Now more than ever,I know that my life has forever been changed. Someone like me...African heritage running through his veins, seeking to be elected to the highest office in the world,a dream alot of people said the world wasn't ready for...a dream even he couldn't have imagined for his life growing up,a dream that began with Martin Luther King's speech...and the battles of civil rights movements in america and in africa...

So,good people,as we watch and wait to see if his dream and the dreams of those before him will come true,I ask you to allow yourself to dream and hold on to them. And let nobody tell you you can't...all you have to do is look at Barack Obama...if he had listened to every hater,he would not be where he is...believe in yourself,and your dreams...have the courage to stand up for what you believe in and hope - for a better life,a better world,better days!

I will never forget that the only reason I'm standing here today is because somebody, somewhere stood up for me when it was risky. Stood up when it was hard. Stood up when it wasn't popular. And because that somebody stood up, a few more stood up. And then a few thousand stood up. And then a few million stood up. And standing up, with courage and clear purpose, they somehow managed to change the world.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jan. 8, 2008

Psycho Ex....

2008-10-22T02:13:00.000+11:00

I was recently reading an article about the extremes women go to after a break-up to seek revenge and oddly enough,win back their lover. Now,it seems irrational to act in such a way,slitting tyres,forwarding emails,bashing him to all your friends and his,and heck anyone who can listen...in the thoughts that maybe,just maybe,he will change his mind and see you for what you are and come back to his senses? I.just.don't.get.it...maybe I haven't met someone who has pushed me over the edge that much,but I'd like to think no guy is ever worth wasting energy like that over...I'd rather be thinking about his replacement to be honest. But that's just me.

Is he worth you losing countless hours of sleeping scheming ways to hurt him and and in the process win him back? Now I don't know about you,but 90% of the time,the guy will not come back and your actions will cement in his mind,the very reason he left your crazy ass! Haven't you seen 'How to lose a guy in 10 days?'...I mean the situation is different,but still the same...chick was acting hella crazy!! Planning the future and ish without just being in the now. And if your now is just being dumped,then by all means honey girl,accept it. It has happened and it's okay to be hurt and in pain...But nothing lasts forever...the pain,goes away and just be grateful you left his ass and opens up the possibility of something even better. And I know This is hard to see in the moment,but it is true.

Now,I'm not condoning how (some) men treat women,but we lose all our common sense when we have been,for lack of a better word, scorned. We all know the saying hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,but I always think that it's too much trouble trying to get revenge. The way I see it,if he's going to hurt you to a point of wanting to see him suffer,then honey girl, boy was not worth your time! And isn't worth your energy...the way I see it,stay fabulous! The best revenge is living your life to the fullest,and that will hurt him more than anything you can ever do intentionally...the fact that you're not retaliating will get to him and what's better...pouring a vodka martini on his head! I think alot of times as women,we're quick to put ourselves at fault. Someone once told me 'it's not your fault,whatever it is,it's not your fault,but it is your responsibility'.

So,if you've been hurt and are going through the emotional heartcahe,it's not your fault. But it is your responsibilty to take control of your feelings and how you move on from there. Life is all about the good,the bad and the ugly.

So,go on,with your bad self...stay fabulous,because (as L'oreal wants you to believe) you're worth it!

Now love muffins,tell me,are guys worth the revenge?? and whats the most ridiculous thing you've done to get revenge back?

Single in the City...Part 1

2008-08-30T02:18:00.000+10:00

So a few days ago I got an invite to one of my really good friend's engagement party! I was sooo excited,as it's the first engagement party I'm attending...Like a rite of passage almost,that I switched mode into figuring out what outfit i was going to where,and then there it was,the reality I thought wouldn't face me at such a young age...Santilla plus one! The horror!! Let me set the record straight,my friend did no harm in addressing the invite that way,it's traditional,and besides,I'm never attached to anyone long enough to have their name on the invite instead of a plus one...It's hard enough for a girl to pick out shoes to go with an outfit,let alone a Mr. Right now...Anyway,it had me thinking about how,when everything is going so well in your life,people seem to view it as insuffiecient when you lack a partner by your side!

And it's not just a twenty-something thing...no no! Pick up a tabloid and headlines like 'Why can't Jen find love' or 'will she ever find true love?'...and we can't help but feel sorry for these people,because irrespective of how much success they achieve,it all amounts to nothing when Mr. Right now is not by your side to share it with you? Don't get me wrong,I'm all for the great romance that give you Carrie Bradshaw style Zsa Zsa Zsu...but why should I settle to settle?

I'm at a stage in my life when everything is the way I want it to be,and I love it! I make conciuos decisions to date but not commit unless I get the Zsa Zsa Zsu's! One of my closest girlfriends recently had an outburst about my choices regarding men in my life and how she feels I dispose of them and in her eyes,I'm constantly searching for Mr. Right Now? She may be right,but can't a girl have a salad without the dressing sometimes?! It's just hard trying to justify the choices we make without being judged or labelled as a slut,whore or the like...but on the otherhand,a guy my age doing the sae thing and focusing on his career and isn't ready to settle for anything less is given a pat on the back and a round of drnks at the local pub! Where is the justice!! If I choose and conciuosly to 'date' a guy who I like minus the Zsa Zsa Zsu's..and only see it as a temp thing,what's wrong with that? Why can't I?

I feel lie in this day and age,I can make my own choices...My grandmother got married at 13...she had no choice,it was expected of her in those days...I am not obligated to be attached to someone,and heck if I did,I would be...It's not hard getting into a relationship,what's hard is getting into the right relationship. So ladies,when you're sitting at home on a friday night with your hands in cotton mitts,wearing your worn out sweats and watching an old movie and eating last night's takeout,don't think of it as pathetic...embrace it! Be proud of the successes you have achieved and continue to achieve,and any man who is right for you,will embrace that about you...Miss Independent! And don't settle for anything less...than Zsa Zsa Zsu!!

I Heart...Little Miss Jocelyn!!

2008-06-19T21:25:00.000+10:00

Okay Love Muffins...do I have something great to share with you! I heart a good laugh and I recently came across this one woman sketch show called 'Miss Jocelyn'. It's performed by Jocelyn Jee Esien and she's the first black woman in the UK or US to have her own sketch show! Her shit is hilarious and if you can relate to the different cultural subtexts you will literally be shitting in your pants...I just wish I'd latched on quicker...But the good news? It's being screened in Oz starting this Monday,the 23rd of June (which so happens to be my birthday - yay) on the ABC at 10:15pm,so TiVo it or whatever,just don't miss it. I promise you,you will Heart it...the characters are hilarious and its well performed and I love the toilet cleaner lady and the Jamaican funeral gatecrashers!!Now, I have given you this information, and in the words of Miss Jocelyn,use it,or lose it....LOL

Bless

Santi

xoxo

Btw,I know I've been a bit slack in posting upcoming events and gigs,but fear not,it will be back up next week...so don't pack away those sequins just yet!

I heart....being Vegan!!!

2008-06-12T20:11:00.000+10:00

I heart veganism and I am all for a healthier,greener and enriching lifestyle like vegeteranism and I have been prescatarian for 5 years(veg and fish...and no,if you eat fish does not make you a VEGETARIAN) until January this year when I decided to go the whole nine yards and take the plunge into the wonderful world of veganism...It really is a great lifetsyle and as an (un)official ambassador,I like to get the word across...so go on,go veg and yeah...you won't regret it!!

Bless

xoxo

Joy Bryant and Steve Jobs Have My Vote for the

I Heart...Love in the Time of Cholera!!

2008-05-22T10:14:00.001+10:00

Okay,so Oprah hearted it first...but I heart heart heart it!! It's a beautifully written novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez,about unrequited love that takes place over 50 years! 50 years people...now I'm not going to spoil it by blogging about what the book is all about,but it's probably the best written love story I have EVER read! No wonder Mr. Marquez won a Nobel Prize for Literature...if you need a book to cuddle up with this winter,this has to be it. It probably defined for me,what true love really meant. none of the usual Hollywood roses and chocolate bullshit,just pure and honest from the soul and that it's worth suffering for.

It's hard to blog about a book you love so much without giving away so much,but if you like me,aren't big on the romance novels,this book is sure to win you over. its set in the late 19th Century somewhere in the Caribbean. The beginning of the book takes a while to get into,because I didn't really see the point of the first 2-3 chapters,until halfway through the book when you realise that the message the book is trying to disseminate is about suffering for the one you love and that as silly as it may seem to the outside world,its a very noble and worthwhile experience to go through.

Hope you enjoy and drop me a comment if you heart!
And if next time you're sitting on the tram without a ticket and the inspectors bust you,did you remember to get soul?

xoxo

Santi

image courtesy of http://www.bookrags.com/

I Heart Melbourne...In winter

2008-05-20T19:29:00.000+10:00

I Heart Melbourne...but especially more so in winter! There's so much to see and do and experience. Apart from watching, with much amusement until karma strikes back, people running from the rain, winter sees an increase in the queues at Starbucks and Gloria Jeans looking for that recycled paper cup of warmth and a see of black coated people that meets you when you get off at Flinders Street Station.

What I heart, though, is the occasional spotting of someone wearing a coat other than black, like the lady in tangerine I saw the other day, or the smelling of roasting nuts on the corner of Swanston and Collins street or further up at Bourke street...I heart the winter exhibitions at the Arts Centre, the way the city skyline looks at night just how classically dressed everyone seems to appear. Having a particular dislike for flip-flops and crocs, especially in the city, its refreshing to see men in well coordinated yet stylish clothing other than the ubiquitous and habitual sea of shorts and flip-flops. What a relief...no more unshaven woolly legs, or unnecessary show of skin. People are forced to cover up and save us from cringing at the sight of a hairy butt crack!!

The women though, take the cake. Melburnian ladies are very stylish and this truly shows in winter. Whether it’s a jeans and t-shirt with a coat and scarf thrown over the top, we sure know how to ooze style and femineity all in one. And ladies, we save a bit of money too, as we don't have to spend as much on grooming as we do the warmer months...Now, I’m all for grooming, but its nice to know that its not a matter of life or death if we don’t wax our legs every so often, because we can cover them up with leggings and pants! Hoorah!! I also heart winter because it is the return of comfort food! We aren't as hung up on our bodies because we have those lovely thick woolly coats and knits to cover it all up (God bless 'em) and we toss away our gym membership cards in return for videoezy membership.

Restaurant and cafe's swap the salads on the menus for tasteful options and soups. It also marks listening to live music in Fitzroy and St Kilda whilst enjoying a lovely glass of red with friends or cuddling up with a mug of hot chocolate to watch a girly movie in bed...aahh...I heart winter...don't you? Now here are a couple more reasons why you too, will fall in love with Melbourne this winter:

Partaay
Laneway 3000: Winter Party
What: Celebrate the start of winter in the laneways of Melbourne. From fire-twirlers to glamorous Charleston dancers, this is an event not to be missed. If that doesn’t excite you, the complimentary cocktail on arrival sure will and there's a groovy DJ to keep the music blazing all night long. It’s an 18 and over event, so definitely worth checking out.
Why: Get into winter party mode and add fuel to your soul! oh and did I mention it's FREE!!! When: 30 May 2008
Time: 6pm til 9pm...
Where: Little Bourke Place Melbourne City 3000
Pricing: FREE!!

See
The Light in Winter
What: From June 5, light installations will grace fed square celebrating the diversity and beauty of our lovely city.
Why: Best to visit after a date or dinner in the city...make it a magical night
When: 5 June to 5 July
Time: 12am to 11:59pm
Where: Fed Square
Pricing: Free

Groove
Mary J Blige
What: A woman that needs no introduction! The Queen of Hip hop/soul herself will be gracing our city for a one-night only performance for the very first time. Now I don't need to tell yall how much of a great night you're guaranteed to have and MJB is sure to deliver. Having won 8 Grammy awards and 23 Grammy nominations, this is a concert not to be missed! What’s the 411 yall!!
Why: Serious street cred and a great night out!
When: Thursday, June 12
Where: Rod Laver Arena
Pricing: Visit ticketek.com.au for more info

Shop
Paul and Joe Sale
What: With savings of up to 75% on Paul and Joe, Paul and Joe sister and Zoe's T-shirts, it’s definitely a must attend for all you fashionistas!
Why: like you need a reason to flash the trusty credit card
When: 29 to 31 May
Where: 19 Newton St, Richmond

Eat
Moroccan Soup Bar
What: Moroccan, Soup and Vegetarian are there specialty. It's in Fitzroy and the vibe is great there this time of year, the food is perfect for this time of year and just the vibe of the restaurant will warm your soul! Did I mention for 17 bucks you could have an entire three course meal? Best to go on an empty stomach and if you've never tried Moroccan, you’ll be sold after eating here! Tip: go with a group of friends
Why: Because I'm biased and they make great lentil soup, oh, and its a cheap eat!
When: Open all year round for dinner only. Tue-Sat 6pm-10pm
Where: 183 St Georges Rd, Fitzroy North 3068. For more info: 03 9482 4240

Read
Chasing Harry Winston
What: From the lady who brought you the Devil wears Prada, Lauren Weisberger, comes Chasing Harry Winston. A novel about 3 best friends in Manhattan who agree to change their lives in the most personal and dramatic way possible -- and within one calendar year
Why: Great read on the tram or while waiting for your coffee at Starbucks
When: Available from Angus and Robertson on May 28
Where: Visit http://www.angusrobertson.com.au/ for more info

Watch
Sex and the City - The Movie
What: Carrie's back! You've seen the posters and trailers and waited like me for 4 years to see the girls and it’s finally arrived. SJP and the entire cast are back for more sex! Make a night out of it with your girlfriends and get dressed up- Carrie style of course!
Why: Seriously? You need a reason?! The shoes alone are with the trip!!
When: June 5
Where: Village Cinemas

I'm off to enjoy a little cup of heaven that is a soy chai latte. Next time you find yourself or someone you love with nothing to do in the city, ask yourself this, got soul?

Toodles Love Muffins

xoxo

Santi

For more info visit thatsmelbourne.com.au